Drunk Disturbance - Officers contacted two intoxicated fisherman who were engaged in a deadly serious game of tug-of-war with a purple tutu, which both of them claimed as their own. Officers suggested they drop both the tutu and the argument, as it hardly seemed worth going to jail over such a flimsy issue.
Suspicious Person/Activity - Officers found a drunk attempting to summit a processing plant building. The drunk, who had appeared to be talking to someone already on top of the building, denied that he had any companions.
Assistance Rendered - An elder phoned again to request assistance with her inebriated, belligerent and generally antagonistic son. The son was provided with transport to a hotel for the night, and was strongly dissuaded from choking his mother.
Harassment - Processing plant employee reported being slandered by an unidentified coworker who had posted on Facebook a picture of the employee in a compromising position. Under investigation.
Assault - A man reported that while walking down a roadway he had been struck in the chest by another man. The victim did not wish to press charges and just wanted his assailant told that his actions weren't nice.
Theft - A bunkhouse resident reported waking up in the night to find a man at his window, offering to share a bottle of vodka. The stranger left, but the resident later woke up to discover his laptop, which had been left near the window, was missing. Under investigation.
Traffic Crime - Officer advised an exceptionally poor driver to continue practicing in an unpopulated area for at least six months before taking her driver's test.