"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie." ~ Jim Davis (Garfield)
"I don’t drink these days; I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs." ~ Robert Downey, Jr.
Good friends don’t let you do stupid things alone.
Life is too short to spend with people who suck the happiness out of you.
People say you can’t live without love … I think oxygen is more important.
The real trouble with reality is that there’s no background music.
A critic is a legless man who teaches running.
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
The average person thinks he isn’t.
Always borrow money from a pessimist; he doesn’t expect to be paid back.
"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?" ~ Abraham Lincoln
I would have been here later, but my car started.