21 November 2012

Those Crazy Unalaskans: At It Again

From the Unalaska Police Blotter, courtesy of the Anchorage Daily News:

Harassment – Officers mediated a dispute, which had erupted after one man blew cigarette smoke in the other’s face, between two men from warring Somali tribes. Both men were barred from visiting any Unisea liquor establishments.

Assault – Intoxicated caller reported being slapped on the genitals and asked that officers issue a trespass advisement to the woman who committed said act. An officer advised the man, who repeatedly requests such trespass advisements only to have them lifted days later, to call when he is sober.

Suspicious Person/Activity – An amorous bloke who in a misguided attempt to attract a mate placed his genitals on full, flapping display in the roadway instead caught the attention of a passing police officer.  The luckless lad was allowed to leave without charges since the intended victim couldn’t be offended by what she couldn’t see.

Disorderly Conduct – Officers broke up a fight at the Harbor View Bar, and ultimately arrested one drunken young man who couldn’t resist taking a final swing at another participant even after the two had been separated. Sami Morris Maafu, 20 yoa, of Washington, was arrested on charges of 

Domestic Disturbance – Intoxicated man reported that his intoxicated brother was acting crazy. Officers responded to the home and found both brothers behaving as they usually do.

Assault – Derak A. Otton, 23 yoa, of Koyuk, was arrested on one count of Assault IV-DV after he slapped his girlfriend, knocked her to the ground and ripped her shirt off in front of neighbor. Otton told police the argument with his girlfriend started when she began beating him at cards. Alcohol was a factor.

DUI – Mukiza Aaron Balinda, 29 yoa, of Unalaska, was arrested for Driving under the Influence after an officer attempted to stop him for speeding and instead followed him as he drove off the roadway, twice, and bounced off a tractor tire that had been placed to protect other cars from drivers such as him before finally coming to a stop.

Assault – Officers received a second-hand report from a business manager that one of his employees had been choked at the Harbor View Bar the night before, by another employee, and had continued to receive threatening text messages.  The participants and a witness provided information indicating that this event did occur, but the victim did not wish to pursue charges and the suspect, who claimed he did not remember what happened, wished only to apologize.

Domestic Disturbance – Caller reported his wife was beating him and asked if he could hit her back.  Officers contacted the intoxicated caller and determined that he had kicked his girlfriend in the head upon learning that she was trying to make plans to leave the island.  Byron E. Olander, 38 yoa, of Unalaska, was arrested on one count of Assault IV-DV.


Bob said...

Every major metropolitan area has its disreputable cousin. For New York City, it's the entire state of New Jersey. Here in Charlotte, it's Gastonia, NC, and Rock Hill, SC.

The Sticks are always just a few miles away, and the dwellers therein endlessly fascinating and amusing.

Rev. Paul said...

Bob ... oh yes, indeed. Having grown up in the sticks, I do understand. The Unalaska police blotter is most famous, however, not for the shenanigans it reports, but the way in which the writer reports them (i.e., usually referring to intoxicated persons as "drunken louts" and "sots".

But yeah, I understand. Unalaska, the port of call for the crab fishing fleet, is much akin to the cattle towns in the Old West ... a cowboy Saturday night. :^)

threecollie said...

Can't make that stuff up can you? lol

Rev. Paul said...

threecollie, it's an imaginative group out there, even if only in discovering new ways to misbehave.

Matt said...

It's like they all aim to misbehave...

Reminds me of games rednecks play.

CottonLady said...

Always good for a chuckle and a shake of the head! Love the writer of the report...writes it like it is!

A blessed Thanksgiving to you and your family, Rev. Paul

Rev. Paul said...

Matt, if they're typical drunks, they're repetitive ... and yeah, it's deliberate.

CottonLady, I'm glad you enjoyed it - and thank you. The same to you, ma'am.