10 December 2012

Stupid Questions

-Do bald men wash their head with soap or shampoo?

-Why is "verb" a noun?

-How can you look up words in a dictionary if you can't spell them?

-How can someone be dirt poor, and another be filthy rich?

-If a word is misspelled in a dictionary, how would we know?

-When you put 'THE' and 'IRS' together, it forms 'THEIRS'. Coincidence?

-If two mouses are mice and two louses are lice, why aren't two houses hice?

-If you put a humidifier and a dehumidifier in the same room, would they cancel each other out?


-Are one-handed people offended when police tell them to put their hands up?

-If you built a time machine with all new parts, when you went back would the parts you use disappear because they didn't exist then?

-If you've read a book, you can reread it. But wouldn't this also mean that you would have to 'member' somebody in order to remember them?

-Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

-Is it a coincidence that the only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable?

-If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

-Is there another word for "synonym"?

-If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

-Shouldn't there be a shorter word for 'monosyllabic'?

-Why do black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars?

-What is another word for 'thesaurus'?

-Did Noah keep his bees in archives?

-If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?

-Why can't you make another word using all the letters in 'anagram'?

-If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

-Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

-Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

-Why is it considered necessary to fasten the lid of a coffin?

-Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack, and how do you get in it?

-When sign makers go on strike, are their signs blank?

-Why do we say something's out of order when its broken but we never say in of order when it works?

-If your plan is having no plan, do you have a plan?

-Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing?

-If the energizer bunny attacks someone, is he charged with battery?

-Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

-If anything's possible, then is it possible that nothing's possible?

-Is atheism is a non-prophet organization?

-Why does X stand for a kiss and O stand for a hug?

-If a baseball is hit out of the stadium, travels completely around the world, re-enters the stadium, and is caught by a fielder, is it a home run or an out?

-Why doesn't 'onomatopoeia' sound like what it is?


-Why don't we say 'why' instead of 'how come'?

-Why are rubber duckies yellow when most real ducks aren't?

-Why is 'crazy man' an insult, while to insert a comma and say 'Crazy, man!' is a compliment?

-Are there female leprechauns?

-Why are a wise man and wise guy opposites?

-Why is abbreviation such a long word?

-Why is dyslexic so hard to spell?

-Would it be possible for a solar car to travel faster than the speed of light?

-Why is it so hard to remember how to spell 'mnemonic'?

-Why is it that no word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple?

-Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?

-Why is it that the word 'gullible' isn't in the dictionary?


-Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital?

-Why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

-Do dumped farmers get John Deere letters?

-Who decided why the alphabet is in that order? Is it because of the song?

-Why isn't 'palindrome' spelled the same way backwards?

-Does anyone actually kill two birds with one stone?

-Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

-Why do they call the clock where you punch your time card called a 'time' clock? Aren't all clocks 'time' clocks?

-Can dogs have dog days?

-Do Siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts?

-Why do they call it 2% milk, if its 2% fat, not milk?

-What do you say when someone says you're in denial, but you're not?

-If you had x-ray vision, but closed your eyes, could you still see?

-Have you ever thought what life would be like if your name was A. Nonymous? You'd get credit for everything nobody wanted credit for?

-If a water spins clockwise when it drains in the northern hemisphere, and water spins counter clockwise when it drains in the southern hemisphere... which way does it spin at the equator?

-If you have x-ray vision, and you can see through anything, wouldn't you see through everything and actually see nothing?

-Why does 'closing up' a shop and 'closing down' a shop mean the same thing?

-How do you throw away a garbage can?

-Why are things typed up but written down?

-Why do caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?

-Why do some books have blank pages at the very end?

-If the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

-What does OK actually mean?

-What does the K in K-mart stand for?

-Why do we feel blue? And what color does a smurf feel when they are down?


-If one man says 'it was an uphill battle,' and another says 'it went downhill from there,' how could they both be having troubles?

-Why is it you can walk down a road, even if it goes uphill?

-Why do we say 'bye bye' but not 'hi hi'?

-Can blind people be dyslexic when they read Braille?


-Why do they call the angel of death an angel if all it does is bring pain and suffering?

-Why doesn't the glue in the bottle dry up?

-If Luke took a bath, would the water be lukewarm?

-If you decide that you're indecisive, which one are you?


h/t MO Bro

5 comments:

Borepatch said...

Soap.

;-)

Old NFO said...

Dang, stole my post didn't ya...LOL

Rev. Paul said...

Borepatch, I wasn't thinking of you when posting this ... but okay. Thanks for clearing that up. :^)

NFO, I was thinking you'd post this, given the opportunity. Heh.

Sandy said...

Enough stupid questions already, lol.....

Where did you find these?

Rev. Paul said...

My Missouri brother e-mailed them to me, hence "MO Bro". Heh.