Drunk Disturbance – Three drunken fisherman attempted to crash a private party and, after being told to leave, expressed their displeasure by urinating on the door of the apartment. Odiferous moisture flowing under the door prompted the partiers to more forcefully encourage the gate-crashers to leave, resulting in a broken window and several damaged walls in the common area of the complex. No injuries were reported and no arrests were made.
Assault – Apartment dweller reported what sounded like a fight in progress in an upstairs unit. A number of Christmas revelers were contacted at the apartment in question, but all denied having been fighting. They were advised not to party so boisterously.
Welfare Check – Officers checked on a drunk who was stumbling along the roadway, and advised him to continue his trek on the sidewalk conveniently located next to the road.
Domestic Disturbance – A drunk asked police to tell his mean dipsomaniac brother to leave the house that the two share. Officers instead told the siblings to sit quietly and watch television together.
Traffic Crime – Caller reported driver travelling on Airport Beach Road without benefit of a driver’s side door. Officers were unable to locate the suspect driver and vehicle.
Assault – Jonathan L. Merculieff, 28 yoa, of Unalaska, was arrested on two counts of Assault IV after he began throwing plates, bowls and other kitchen accoutrements at his family and neighbors, injuring two of them.
Traffic Roads – A driver who mistook a snow-covered sidewalk for a roadway tried to turn off the sidewalk and drove into a ditch. The driver, new to town, apologized profusely for his mistake.
Welfare Check – Drunken woman asked an officer to find her husband, who hadn’t been seen since he left for church. Officers responded to the woman’s residence and found a number of equally inebriated guests, none of whom could provide any coherent information about the husband’s departure.
Domestic Disturbance – Caller reported her neighbors were screaming and their children were running amok. Officers responded and found a couple engaged in a verbal dispute while their children created a ruckus in a neighboring room. The couple was advised to address their problems in a more seemly fashion.
Real life: stranger than fiction. You just can't make this stuff up. :^)