The "Law of Unintended Consequences" Law: In another AP story, "JUNEAU, Alaska — A law standardizing police officer paperwork is having unintended consequences ... Juneau is one of many cities across Alaska that lets the courts handle parking ticket appeals. The court system, in an order that took effect April 15, said it will no longer deal with cases in which an officer stuck a ticket under someone's windshield wiper."
What Everybody's Been Waiting For Dept: (drumroll, please) ... The Unalaska Police Blotter, from Dutch Harbor, Alaska.
Welfare Check- Individual requested a welfare check on 2 dipsomaniac brothers. The brothers were found to be fine.
Drunk Disturbance- A drunken individual requested that officers remove two other drunk individuals from his residence. The officer found that the drunks in question had vacated the residence prior to the officer’s arrival.
MVA-Damage- Maria Perez, 23 y.o.a. from Oregon, charged with Failure to Give Immediate Notice of Accident after she crashed through her neighbor’s new fence.
Animal- 2 dogs reported to be running in traffic. Officer was unable to locate the wayward canines.
Trespass- Caller requested officers remove an overly intoxicated person from her residence. Officers determined that the individual was intoxicated to such an extent that he needed to be seen at the clinic.
Drunk Disturbance- Officers responded to a bunkhouse to investigate a report of an individual running through the halls screaming and threatening people. The individual was contacted singing loudly in his room. He denied any aggressive behavior and was warned against disturbing his neighbors.
Assistance Rendered- Officers assisted in corralling a couple of escape artists, a 2 y.o. and a 4 y.o. Both had snuck out of their residence in an attempt to make it to a friend’s house. The wanderers were reunited with their parents who had been searching for them.
Drunk Disturbance- Officers intervened in a disturbance between two “brothers” who had been exchanging some “brotherly love” in the guise of a pugilistic engagement. As the two brothers were not in fact actual brothers and neither wished to pursue charges, both were placed into separate taxis and sent on their way.
Suspicious Person/Activity- Complainant reported a strange piece of metal on the beach. An officer responded and confirmed the presence of a strange piece of metal. None involved could identify the nature of the strange piece of metal but determined it was not a danger.
And finally, my personal favorite:
Suspicious Person/Activity- Officers responded to City Hall to assist with an overly agitated individual. The individual was very vocal in his dissatisfaction in recent treatment by Public Safety. The individual was loud but not threatening and such was afforded his First Amendment Right to free speech.