03 October 2013

Unalaska Police Blotter: Stray Hairs and Middle Finger Edition

Assistance Rendered Taxi driver asked for police assistance because a passenger had fallen asleep in her cab and she did not know what she should do. An officer responded and woke the passenger, who shouted obscenities at the officer before getting out of the taxi.

Drunk Disturbance – Officers responded to a local dock and contacted two extremely inebriated fishermen, one of whom had obviously recent cuts and scrapes and neither of whom was particularly forthcoming regarding how those scrapes came to be. After having been told numerous stories about being blindfolded and/or having been attacked by a gang of thugs of various ethnicities, officers determined the injured inebriate had likely simply fallen down.

Assault – A woman upset about her vehicle having been damaged by her neighbor's poor parking job expressed her displeasure by accosting her neighbor and punching her in the face. The neighbor returned the favor. Neither woman wished to press charges though both complained to the responding officer about the other. 

Assault – Officers responded to a report of an alleged assault and found that one man had displayed a vulgar hand gesture to another, and also left his razor trimmings in the bathroom the two men shared. A witness did confirm that the first man had tapped the second on the shoulder.  Officers determined that the shoulder tap, stray hairs and middle finger did not rise to the level of a crime.

Harassment – Caller reported feeling harassed because an Alaska State Trooper had given him a ticket at his residence, and had then pulled him over and was standing next to the caller’s car window. Caller then said he had other things to do and didn’t have time to deal with this.

Environmental – Vehicle owner reported his vehicle had been vandalized, but upon closer inspection he and the responding officer determined that the damage to his truck was caused by high winds whipping the bed liner from his pickup and slamming numerous items against the windows and hood before depositing them in the parking lot and the harbor.

MVA Damage – A woman backed into her neighbor’s parked vehicle, sparking a violent confrontation between the two furious femmes. Damage to the two vehicles was negligible and the only injuries were those caused when the two irate women began pummeling one another.

Liquor Law Violation – Officer advised a man who had entered a bar with a case of beer under his arm that he could not bring alcohol into the bar. The man secured his beer elsewhere while waiting for his meal.

8 comments:

PioneerPreppy said...

If I only had the money to open a liquor store in Alaska.

Rev. Paul said...

It does sound awfully lucrative, doesn't it?

Old NFO said...

Another set of real winners... Sigh...

Rev. Paul said...

NFO, the scariest part is how small that population is ... so many of these reports are about serial offenders. The rest are the seasonal commercial fishermen, but still. Wow.

Sandy said...

Rev. Paul,

I would love to look at the stat's reported to the state on part one crimes vs. all the petty calls.

Rev. Paul said...

Sandy, I'm sure that the petty stuff outweighs the serious crime. It did in Missouri when I carried a badge, some 30 years ago. There's probably more "petty" now than there was before.

Teresa said...

Since no one really was hurt (so to speak) in any of these, they are pretty funny. ;)

Rev. Paul said...

Teresa, I think that's why we like these reports so much. They're almost never about anything more violent than the one where a guy smacked a co-worker with a package of frozen fish. :)