12 November 2014

Police Blotter: The Childish Edition

I normally only post these on Fridays now, but what the hey ... here ya go:

Disorderly Conduct ~ A drunken and belligerent patron was removed from the Airport Restaurant after he began yelling and pounding his table. Officers removed the man and issued a trespass advisement per restaurant management.
All together now:  "We want something else! We want something else!" (with apologies to Hawkeye Pierce)
Assistance Rendered ~ Officers spoke with an estranged wife who was incensed that her husband was allowing another woman to live in a house and drive a vehicle legally controlled by both the husband and wife. The wife insinuated there might be negative repercussions if the other woman were still present when the wife returns. The officer advised the wife against this course of action.
What's she going to do? Short-sheet the bed? 
DUI ~ Caller reported a possibly intoxicated driver. Officers contacted the suspect and found that he was not intoxicated but rather a new driver using an iPod and cell phone while attempting to safely control several thousand pounds of metal and rubber. The officer issued the young man a warning.
Theft ~ An officer convinced a man who had reported his backpack was stolen from a foyer while he was outside smoking, that he really ought to check the last place he had been before he stepped outside to smoke. Though the victim was certain his backpack could not possibly be there, he was pleasantly surprised to find that in fact it was, with all items intact.
Harassment ~ Two taxi drivers called each other bad names and directed rude gestures at one another. One driver believed the exchange was over allegations of stealing fares; the other driver believed it was due to parking in a handicapped parking space. The responding officer asked the two drivers to handle their business problems like adults.
 We are too behaving like adults! Nyah nyah nyah! 
Welfare Check ~ Officer checked the airport terminal after multiple 911 calls were received from a pay phone at that location. The officer was told by one child that another child had seen a monster and so had phoned 911. The officer did not find any of the aforesaid monsters in the terminal.
 Oh great - now the monsters are invisible... 


Chickenmom said...

Pay phones? I haven't seen those in years!

threecollie said...

Oh, noes!

Rev. Paul said...

Chickenmom, it's a fact that Alaska tends to be about 10 years behind the Lower 48 in terms of innovation. There were pay phones in the lobby of my building until 5 years ago.

threecollie, beware the invisible monsters ... Bwaahahahaha!

joated said...

The report on the two taxi drivers had me singing, "New York, New York!"

Rev. Paul said...

You're right - it does sound like a page 2 story from the Daily News. :)