07 November 2014

Police Blotter: Friday Follies

Suspicious Person/Activity ~ Caller reported that a person wearing black clothing and a black bag appeared suspicious. The caller later reported that the suspicious person was doing laundry in a facility made available for fisherman to do their laundry.
 The fiend!
Environmental ~ Caller reported a bus stop had been blown to smithereens by high winds, and that parts of the shelter were now in the roadway.

Assault ~ A man whose family had been obscenely disparaged on Facebook came to the police station to report that he had just come from the suspect’s home, where he had punched the suspect several times in the face. The suspect, who exhibited minor facial injuries, did not wish to speak to police about the matter and had no interest in pursuing charges.
Didn't want to lose Book of Face, I guess.
Suspicious Person/Activity ~ After receiving a report of fireworks being ignited at the CEM dock, officers located a man who admitted to having lighted them because he thought they were legal. He apologized for the mistake and removed the debris from the dock.
Civil ~ Officer mediated a minor disagreement between a taxi driver who claimed he did not cause an accident and a motorcyclist who claimed he laid his bike down because of the taxi driver’s actions. 
Assistance Rendered ~ A drunken man asked for assistance with an equally drunken comrade who had hurt his ankle and was having difficulty walking back to his boat. An officer, after ensuring that no ambulance was necessary, provided both men with courtesy transport to their vessel. 
Criminal Mischief ~ A vehicle had all its tires slashed by an as-yet unidentified reprobate.
DUI ~ An officer stopped a woman dressed as a cat after observing her drive her vehicle in the wrong lane of travel and determined she was been drinking. Patricia Guzman-Gil, 31 yoa, was arrested for Driving Under the Influence.
Gonna be Grumpy Cat in the morning ...
Assistance Rendered ~ Officer assisted EMS personnel with a drunk who was having difficulty opening a pack of gum.
 You know what they say about walking and chewing gum at the same time? Well, there ya go!


PioneerPreppy said...

Even in Alaska Facebook is a problem :)

BTW I could not get to your site all morning. Each time I tried I got a server not found error message. It was odd because no other blogs were doing that.

Rev. Paul said...

Preppy, that could explain my lower-than-normal hit count. And who knows, maybe the Alaska server really wasn't talking to the others. Glad it's back up, though.

Chickenmom said...

Too funny - loved the cat one!

Rev. Paul said...

Glad you liked it, ma'am.

Guffaw in AZ said...

re: the fisherman laundry...
He was probably a Pisces working for scale!

re: walking and gum chewing.
Attributed to LBJ, who said it of Gerald Ford.
Also LBJ said fart not walk!



Rev. Paul said...

Now, now, Guffaw, no tails out of school!

And that gum-and-walking comment was around long before LBJ; he just modified it for Ford. :)