11 December 2014

Police Blotter: "Urinary Indiscretion"

The intoxicated woman claimed her vehicle had been stolen, but she had no idea when this might have occurred. The vehicle was located a couple hundred feet away, in the same location a different, previously reported stolen vehicle had been found.

Assistance Rendered
A woman who was the designated driver for a group of inebriated and boisterous women reported that her keys had been locked in her vehicle by one of her companions. An officer was able to unlock the vehicle and the designated driver then corralled her companions and herded them from the area.

Traffic Crime
[Name redacted], 24 yoa, was charged with Reckless Driving and Motor Vehicle Insurance Required after an officer investigated a complaint about his erratic, high-speed driving on a narrow, densely populated roadway and learned that at least one person had to jump out of [his] way to avoid being hit. [He] had been warned two days earlier about not having liability insurance.

Welfare Check
Anchorage Air Traffic Control contacted UDPS regarding a flight that was supposed to have landed in Unalaska but had not yet checked in. The pilot of the aircraft, which had landed a few minutes earlier, explained that he had become distracted by the all our blue sky and fine scenery and had forgotten to check in.

Suspicious Person/Activity
Complaint about numerous men always urinating on an electrical box outside the airport terminal building. An officer advised the caller to phone police when the men were in flagrante delicto, in order that they might be held accountable for their urinary indiscretion.

Fire Safety
Caller asked police to rectify the problem of smoke from a neighbor's bonfire blowing into his house. Officers found that the bonfire creator had followed all appropriate rules and regulations but was simply unable to control the wind direction.


Well Seasoned Fool said...

Perhaps the airport authorities can rig an inconspiuous electric fence charger in select locals.

Rev. Paul said...

I suspect it's been tried, and liability lawsuits probably ensued, as well. But I'll bet it would be effective!