26 March 2015

Police Blotter: Tater-Tot Combatants

Suspicious Person/Activity
A driver reported that the side window of her company vehicle had suddenly shattered, and she thought perhaps someone had thrown a rock at her window. No indication of this was found, and a company representative advised that the vehicle was old and he suspected the relatively sudden temperature change had caused the breakage.

Welfare Check
Officers conducted a welfare check on a drunken mother who had allegedly made threats to harm herself, and found that she was simply inebriated and upset that the son she had for so long wanted out of her house was now in jail.

Welfare Check
Out-of-town wife called in great distress because her husband, whose flight from Unalaska had been cancelled this day, had not yet checked in to his hotel room. A single phone call to the hotel confirmed that the man was there, passed out in the lobby.

Protective Custody/Probation Violation
Alcohol - A screaming drunk at the airport was taken into protective custody after he was unable to tell officers where he was or what month it was, and repeatedly offered his cell phone when asked for his wallet. [Said] screaming drunk was remanded to jail after his probation officer was informed of his alcohol consumption, said consumption being a violation of his probation conditions.

When bar staff asked a surly, intoxicated patron to pay his tab, he showed his wallet to them, put it away, continued walking away and then phoned police to report his wallet had been stolen. He was given several opportunities to pay his tab with the credit card officers had seen in his hands, but he refused to do so. Alan Isze Marsan-Garcia, 51 yoa, was subsequently arrested for Theft IV and Resisting Arrest. 

Domestic Disturbance
Officers responded to a report of a fight in a bunkhouse, and found two men who were so intoxicated they were able to provide virtually no relevant information other than that nothing had happened. Witness reports indicated the altercation had not escalated to criminal proportions.

Two men got into a fight after one man, attempting to protect his buddy’s tater-tots, told the tater-taker that he was the bigger and badder man. The tater-tot skirmish ended with one bloody nose and two ripped shirts. A drunk who offered to help police with an assault investigation walked up to one of the tater-tot combatants, shoved him across the face and identified him by labeling him with a vulgar, Oedipus-type epithet. Brent D. Thomas, 45 yoa, was subsequently taken into custody for Harassment II.


Well Seasoned Fool said...

she was simply inebriated and upset that the son she had for so long wanted out of her house was now in jail.

I wouldn't last a week as a police officer in that own before slapping some sense into drunks.

Rev. Paul said...

WSF, I suspect very few of us would last, out there. It would take Biblical amounts of patience and understanding.

Chickenmom said...

Tater-tots and bunk houses! Just can't make this stuff up!

Old NFO said...

Yeah, you CAN'T make this stuff up...

Rev. Paul said...

Chickenmom & NFO - you're right. This stuff is priceless!

joated said...

Six out of seven alcohol related. Seems like an average week.

(Tater-tot wars? Really?)

On a Wing and a Whim said...

Oedipus-type epithet? That's awesome. Truly, awesome. Whoever takes the time to research new and interesting explanations for the same old drunken behaviours - I hope they were as dryly amused at writing this report as we were at reading it!

Rev. Paul said...

joated - fighting over tater tots is no worse than slapping each other with frozen fish. Both have happened there, recently. You really can't make up anything this peculiar.

Glad you like it, Wing. :) It's Sgt. Jennifer Shockley of the Dutch Harbor/Unalaska P.D.